When you hear “I can’t be with you…because of your dog” and your heart breaks…

I don’t normally post about really personal things. But sometimes I need to. This blog, this vault of words that I have typed, has served to not only motivate me in my running, connect with other people all over the world, and allow me to share the most awesome dog with you…but it has also become place where I can sort thoughts and feelings out…so here goes…

I’ve been dating a guy…and he is awesome. He makes me laugh, he thinks I’m beautiful and smart and he loves that I run. On Friday night, were were out with his friends and I heard him numerous times telling them how much he likes me, how lucky he is to have found me…how he finds himself planning our future together.

Then on Sunday afternoon, he dropped a bombshell when he said the following: “Jane…you’re perfect…and I’m probably making a big mistake…and my friends are going to tell me I’m an idiot…but I have to end things with you…I have realized that I don’t want a dog in my life”.

I started my conversation with this man I really cared about and trusted, looking like this…

…and finished it looking like this…

And I hate that. I have always said that if I met a man who couldn’t/wouldn’t accept Abby then it was an easy decision…they weren’t right for me and I’d be done with them.

But I wasn’t that strong yesterday. I begged him to not do this. I begged him to give life with Abby a chance. And I hate that I did that, but the truth is, I really really liked this guy and I couldn’t bear the thought that I was losing him.

Now, after a restless night of sleep, I have more clarity. My heart is broken…but Abby loves me unconditionally and it is my job to keep her safe. Being with someone who doesn’t really care for her, would be putting her in potential danger. And, seriously, if you don’t like Abby, there has to be something really wrong with you…right?

My teammate sent this to me last night…

So that’s what I’m choosing to believe.

26 thoughts on “When you hear “I can’t be with you…because of your dog” and your heart breaks…

  1. Chris

    Seriously “I don’t want a dog in my life” is one of the lamest reasons for breaking up I have ever heard. The only way this would be acceptable is if a dog was attacking him every time he was around (which I would doubt would happen with Abby!).

    Maybe he doesn’t want to share you with the amount of attention you give her?

    Like

    Reply
    1. 50statecanuck Post author

      To be honest, I think he is so terrified of having another “failed” relationship that he looks for every possible thing that COULD be an issue and makes a mountain out of it. What was coming out of his mouth about the cons of having a dog was complete nonsense – he was imagining the worst case scenario of owning a dog. But, it was something the COULD happen and COULD destroy our relationship soooo, according to him, he needed to cut ties now.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Chris

        I was kind of wondering if this was an excuse for something else.

        I know it doesn’t help right now but maybe it is for the best because one can only imagine what the excuses might have been in the future?

        Like

      2. 50statecanuck Post author

        I agree. I think he is unwilling to change anything in his life and expects his partner to adjust to his life completely. Ultimately that would not have worked…better to know that now. Thanks for your words…I feel supported today.

        Like

  2. Rebecca@RunningFoodBaby

    Luckily I was alone in my office when I read this as I yelled “what the f***” and “are you f***ing kidding me?” – that does have to be the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard and honestly you are probably better off because who knows what else could have happened later on. I think “F*** that s***” is what comes to mind….

    Jane, you are an amazing, strong, beautiful women who deserves someone who will appreciate you for everything – Abby included! Big hugs to you – and my motto is “no tears, more beers” – plan some fun nights for yourself. Maybe a girls beer night or movie night….or treat yourself to a spa day (Nordik?). Bring me too 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. runninglonely

    I’m sorry you were with someone who would find a pet rock to be too much of an emotional commitment.

    You deserve someone who who appreciates all the awesome that you bring to a relationship (which includes the best dog EVER)

    Like

    Reply
  4. Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA

    Whattt. omg.! well good thing this happened before you got even more involved.! because if he was really serious he shouldn’t care if you had a pet Dinosaur. wow I’ve never heard of someone breaking up because of a pet dog. I’m sorry girl.!! Stay strong. Your sad face is just way too sad. You should be smiling.

    Like

    Reply
    1. 50statecanuck Post author

      Lol!! Omg. I’m telling the next man I meet that I have a pet dinosaur- if he doesn’t bat an eye then I’ll know he’s a good one!! Lol

      Thanks for your support Jessica!! It means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. irtfyblog

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I read it this morning and my heart sunk for you and Abby…especially for you. You deserve someone who won’t be afraid of a committed relationship and will love the two of you with their whole heart. You’re beautiful…and so is Abby.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. G

    Sorry to hear that Jane! But he obviously wasn’t the one! Even if he had tried, it probably wouldn’t have lasted and you would have got hurt even more (listen to me, a bloke all the way from the UK talking like a relationship expert 😁).
    But seriously, forget him, and until you find “your man” keep posting/writing to us all to keep that smile going. And for Abby, we’ll have her here on vacation if needed! She’s amazing! 👍
    Take care and keep smiling.
    Guillaume

    Like

    Reply
    1. 50statecanuck Post author

      Haha- thank you Guillaume! You are so right…I was too hurt last and shocked yesterday to think clearly but today I’m realizing that he obviously wouldn’t have been a good match. As for Abby…now she is planning her overseas trip!! lol

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Brittany

    I admire you for posting this. Two years ago I went through the breakup. You know, the one that completely tears you down so that you can build yourself back up. It was hard to talk about on the blog, and took me months to ever say anything. I only did because he was such a huge part of my posts that it was becoming obvious he was absent. The support I got was insurmountable. The blog community is just amazing.

    I do have to say this is a very bizarre reason to break things off. I can’t say I’m a big dog person, but the guy I mentioned above had a dog and we just made it work. You’re right though, this just means he was not the one and eventually his purpose in your life will become clear. For now just hang in there and know that time is your new best friend, second to Abby of course. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s