I had no idea that pouring a bit of my heart out here would result in feeling like I got the biggest hug in the world. Please know that your messages of warmth meant so much to me and really helped me get through the last couple of days with more of a real smile on my face.
And while my mood has definitely improved, something else I’m working on has not.
Wednesday night I went out for a drink with a girlfriend and we found this weird contraption – anyone know what it’s for? LOL
So last night was track. And as soon as my coach sent out the workout, I wanted to run. Away. Far. He has us do this workout 1-2 times per season and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. (for the past 8 years) I have skipped out on it in total fear. I don’t do 5k or 10k races (out of fear of the pain and fear of not doing well) and I sure as hell don’t do 1 mile time trials. Yup, that was the workout. 4 laps on the track. As fast as you can.
But I knew that I had to do it this year. I had to face this fear.
However, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea how to even do it! How do you pace yourself for such a short “race”??? Coach said, “Take the first lap slow, then gradually gain speed with each lap. When you cross the finish line, you should be finished and unable to even imagine running another 20 meters.”
Oh, great. Sounds like a slice.
He felt that, based on my times so far this season, he would expect me to do it in 6:12. Ok, really meant nothing to me, I seriously had no idea what I was capable of.
A good friend of mine, who sometimes believes more in me than I do, told me to find the “stupid gear”. This is a gear I tell him that he has that allows him to go “stupid” fast at the end when you feel like you have nothing left…and I have always told him I don’t have this gear. But I promised to try and find it last night.
Then, just as we were lining up, this happened
I’ll tell you, it hurt like hell. I lost feeling in my arms with 300m to go and my lungs were on fire. But that whole last lap, I was thinking of my friend and the “stupid gear”. With 200m to go, I dug deep and moved into what I think was the stupid gear…and I crossed the finish line in 6:03!
My coach was ecstatic about my time, but I was just so proud that I had faced a big fear and just DONE IT. And now I know I can do it again. I won’t enjoy it, but I will do it again! LOL
This morning was 5 miles on the TM with GOT and then strength training.
Single leg TRX squats
Beautiful winter wonderland when I looked out the window this morning.