Facing a fear, finding the Stupid Gear and the untrainable Abby.

I had no idea that pouring a bit of my heart out here would result in feeling like I got the biggest hug in the world. Please know that your messages of warmth meant so much to me and really helped me get through the last couple of days with more of a real smile on my face.

And while my mood has definitely improved, something else I’m working on has not.

Look at the little brat, she’s even looking at me, laughing at me, I’m sure, knowing what she’s going to do the minute I get into the shower…

Yup, move right on over ONTO MY CLOTHES.

Wednesday night I went out for a drink with a girlfriend and we found this weird contraption – anyone know what it’s for? LOL

So last night was track. And as soon as my coach sent out the workout, I wanted to run. Away. Far. He has us do this workout 1-2 times per season and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. (for the past 8 years) I have skipped out on it in total fear. I don’t do 5k or 10k races (out of fear of the pain and fear of not doing well) and I sure as hell don’t do 1 mile time trials. Yup, that was the workout. 4 laps on the track. As fast as you can.

But I knew that I had to do it this year. I had to face this fear.

However, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea how to even do it! How do you pace yourself for such a short “race”??? Coach said, “Take the first lap slow, then gradually gain speed with each lap. When you cross the finish line, you should be finished and unable to even imagine running another 20 meters.”

Oh, great. Sounds like a slice.

He felt that, based on my times so far this season, he would expect me to do it in 6:12. Ok, really meant nothing to me, I seriously had no idea what I was capable of.

A good friend of mine, who sometimes believes more in me than I do, told me to find the “stupid gear”. This is a gear I tell him that he has that allows him to go “stupid” fast at the end when you feel like you have nothing left…and I have always told him I don’t have this gear. But I promised to try and find it last night.

Then, just as we were lining up, this happened

Yup, lights went out in the dome. Ugh. But still enough light that we could still run.

I’ll tell you, it hurt like hell. I lost feeling in my arms with 300m to go and my lungs were on fire. But that whole last lap, I was thinking of my friend and the “stupid gear”. With 200m to go, I dug deep and moved into what I think was the stupid gear…and I crossed the finish line in 6:03!

My coach was ecstatic about my time, but I was just so proud that I had faced a big fear and just DONE IT. And now I know I can do it again. I won’t enjoy it, but I will do it again! LOL

This morning was 5 miles on the TM with GOT and then strength training.

Single leg TRX squats


TRX Rows

Lateral shoulder raises

Beautiful winter wonderland when I looked out the window this morning.

We got enough snow last night that my plow fairies had to come visit my driveway!! WOOHOO!!

Happy Friday!!

25 thoughts on “Facing a fear, finding the Stupid Gear and the untrainable Abby.

  1. bobbyjessica2319

    Hahah. I totally get the “stupid gear”. I always think, augh why am I doing this, and than I say right because the time will be worth it” internal battle.

    Great job on your mile.!! Woo. I hate track or short runs. Augh I would have died. Lol


    1. 50statecanuck Post author

      LOL – thanks!!…I’m hoping not to have to run a 5k anytime soon, but am certainly feeling the pressure!!

      Yes, I saw you, out of the corner of my eye doing your workout!! The only good thing about the weather last night was that it meant fewer people were out at the dome!!!


  2. irtfyblog

    Okay…first off, from what you’re posting for your runs, I can imagine that you would run a 5k in less than 26 min..easy! I loved running 5k’s…never did run a 10k. Signed up for one, but it was too cold that morning so I stayed in bed. LOL. 😉 But you should run a 5k. I think you’d surprise yourself at how well you would do.

    Also, Abby is ha-larry-us! 🙂 that dog is awesome and she obviously loves something about your clothes that the blankie just doesn’t provide. 😉

    And that contraption on the wall…that used to be a device for making phone calls, but now it’s just a wall ornament for those older folks who want to feel a little nostalgic every now and then.

    Happy Friday!


    1. 50statecanuck Post author

      Ba-hahahaha!! I love every part of all that!! Thank you!!
      p.s. The problem with the 5k is that everyone on my team runs sub-20 minute…so I put that pressure on me, knowing I couldn’t do that the first time, even though I know I shouldn’t worry about it!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. irtfyblog



        Okay…when I started running, I was working out with a guy who ran sub 2 hour half-marathons and he gave me some advice that I’m going to pass on to you…

        Never compete with the people who you run or practice with. Compete against yourself every single time you race. So, the first time you sign up for a 5k, find one that you can run alone with no team members there. Set a goal…then see if you can achieve it. If you didn’t, then work to achieve/surpass it in the next few months. Don’t worry about what the others can do…worry about what you can do. 😉


      2. 50statecanuck Post author

        LOL…if you continue to read my blog, you will see that that is something I have worked very hard at doing (I’ve probably posted on this before in the past). I happily run my halfs and fulls slower than the rest on the team and really don’t care what others are doing out there on the course…it’s just this darn 5k that I’m still struggling with!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. irtfyblog

        It’s all in that pretty little head of yours. 😉

        I really think you’d surprise yourself if you ran one. The times your posting here are WAY better than anything I have ever run, and my best 5k time was 25 min. That was after three months of training.


  3. rundoodlerun

    Damn, girl! Nice time!! My half marathon coaches have us do 2 mile time trials twice each season (the first is a baseline, the second is a progress check) and I HATE them so much! I run half marathons (and soon marathons) because I am a distance runner, not a sprinter! I have no idea how to go all out yet pace myself either.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. carrythemessage

    Excuse my French but holy shit! That’s an amazing time!! I haven’t done anything like that and don’t want to. lol. You crushed it, Jane! congrats…I am so very happy for you. I am tired right now just having read that!!


    Liked by 1 person


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s